Success

For lunch, I decided to go for cheap Chinese food from the student cafeteria. Here's what the fortune in my fortune cookie said: "Success will be yours at home and in business." Good to know. Now I just need to figure out what the word "success" means, and I'm all set. There are many ways to interpret that, I suppose. Am I a success if I produce lots of "stuff" and make a good living? Am I a success if I live in a big house and drive a nice car? Am I a success if I make myself look like a model and marry Mr Right? Or am I a success if, when I'm old and gray (assuming I'll live long enough to be old and gray), I look back on my life and realize that I loved and was loved in return, grew in my wisdom, took some chances that sometimes led to failure, didn't always let fear and convention hold me back, and maybe, just maybe, had a little fun along the way? I'll probably spend the rest of my life trying to figure out what it really means to be successful. Maybe there isn't one clear answer or definition.

So, besides cheap chinese food, what brings me to this train of thought? I've been thinking about this for a large part of my day (and my life, really). The current thoughts rumbling through my consciousness might have something to do with Gordon Parks, who died yesterday. There's a display/dedication to Parks here in the J-School...he earned the school's William Allen White Award this year. I've passed by the display a few times and glanced at the dozens of books, magazines, photographs, etc. Reading about him in the paper today, I realized that this man did some truly amazing things in his lifetime. He didn't narrow his endeavors to one field, one way of doing and looking at things. He had passion and drive and, most importantly, a belief that what he was doing actually mattered. I admire that.

I would like to emulate that mindset, that spirit of creativity, that energy...yet, I doubt myself sometimes. A lot of the time, actually. Just thinking about all of the things I'd like to do is exhausting...things I haven't even thought of yet but will think of in the future, things I've wanted to do for a long time, and things I *should* be doing right now. Honestly, it makes me want to take a nap. Instead, I must wrap up this scatter-brained post so I can go teach in a few minutes...I don't mean to get all "serious" on here today, but sometimes it happens.

posted by elizabeth @ 1:57 PM